"Jack in the Box" Trail Rating System

By Larry Soo

Prior to IRC '98, Jonathan brought back a couple of antenna balls from a Jack in the Box restaurant. He epoxied them to our Jeeps' antennas (I was busy doing something else at the time so I wasn't able to incapacitate him with my trusty 2-lb hammer).

When running trails at IRC '98, my attention was frequently captured by the white Jack in the Box (JIB) head atop my antenna as it recoiled and waved wildly each time it hit a branch. The rougher the trail, the more frantic Jack's dance became. On our way home, while waiting to board the ferry, we looked at each other's JIB head. They had both sustained damage. Having a statistical sample of two, we quickly arrived at a highly accurate correlation between the trail difficulty and JIB lacerations...and now, we proudly present the "Jack in the Box" Trail Rating System:

	Unscathed JIB: Trail, what trail? Any Royal Deluxe Family Truckster mobile can do that trail.
	Nose gone, mouth gone: Wow! That trail left Jack speechless. Hope you have larger-than-stock tires and a lift kit. Expect to explore the limits of your near stock rig.
	Nose gone, eyes gone: Yowee! Jack had so much fun that he went blind. You'll need a rear locker for this trail. You'd better stay home if you value that shiny paint job.
	Partially decapitated: Jack had such a great time that his head blowed-up real good. This trail is for serious rock monkeys. Dual lockers are highly recommended, as is a cavalier attitude towards the preservation of your sheet metal's appearance.

The JIB Trail Rating System Gets a Spot in the Local Paper!